A dramatic drug cartel shoot-out has ended in the tragic death of an innocent tourist in the centre of Glens Falls, NY. Witnesses tell of two pick-up trucks pulling up outside a run-down house on Lawrence St. late yesterday evening and opening fire on the property. The extent of the tragedy only became apparent when it was later revealed that the property was no longer the hideout of a rival cartel, but has in recent weeks been converted into a budget-priced airBnb rental.
The ill-fated tourist has been identified as Richard Barton of London, England. Ticket stubs and receipts found on his person show that Mr. Barton had spent his final day on earth enjoying the full gamut of cultural activities that Glens Falls has to offer, including the world-famous Hyde Collection art museum, Birch Bark Eatery (a uniquely compassionate dining experience for anyone seeking a new take on food by creating classic American comfort foods and offering a wide variety of flavour fusions) and an itinerant rodeo.
The nature of the property—a classic Victorian semi—does throw up an element of mystery. Firstly, it still retains all the hallmarks of an archetypal crack den: a dank interior apparently last decorated in 1975, a grimy bathroom, and a kitchen equipped with nothing but a decrepit refrigerator and a microwave, raising questions as to why Mr. Barton had chosen to stay there in the first place. Secondly, the adjoining property is occupied by John P. Stonner, Esq., attorney & counselor at law. It is as yet unclear whether the assailants are already clients of Mr. Stonner, nor indeed whether he will be representing them in their upcoming homicide trial.
Mr. Barton was found dead wearing a jacket and gloves with all his possessions still in his packed bags, suggesting he had either just arrived at the property or was just preparing to leave, underlining his gross misfortune of being in the very wrong place at just the wrong time.