Tragedy as Bus Sinks in German River

Yesterday a bus filled with tourists and bored locals drove into the River Elbe in Hamburg, Germany, and sunk to the bottom, drowning all 37 passengers and crew. The bus, operated by HafenCity RiverBus GmbH, was advertised as being amphibious, offering picturesque views of Hamburg's industrial harbour from both land and water, yet apparently no one took into account the fact that it was, after all, just a bus, which would struggle in heavy rain let alone a deep, fast-running river.

Mr. Frischhaar, a Burrito vendor from Hamburg, was among those who witnessed the tragic event. "I couldn't believe my eyes," he said. "I saw the bus going down the ramp built for launching regular boats and I thought 'oh, it will probably stop soon', but it didn't, it just carried on going straight into the water until it disappeared. I kept expecting it to resurface but of course it didn't. Why would it? Everybody knows that buses belong on land. Did the driver think he was Jesus or something?"

Among the passengers was 39-year-old Englishman Richard Barton. Friends of Mr. Barton, who wish to remain nameless, describe him as someone fearful of water, openly scornful of most forms of public transport and general cautious in nature, raising questions about what on earth possessed him to board a bus destined for the water in the first place.